Top 10 Horror Movies of the 2000s: Part 2

I was originally just going to do a “Top 10 Horror Films of the Past Decade” list. However, once I started getting into it, I changed my mind. Instead of a list that would have focused on only a couple of strong years, I decided to pick the best horror movie from EACH year. Then I realized that there were way more BAD movies, so I figured I should list the best AND the worst from each year.

Although I stand behind this list 100%, I have to begin with a disclaimer: I haven’t seen every horror film from the past decade. This list will obviously include only those movies which I’ve seen. If you think this list is missing some important films (or if you just disagree with the picks) please let me know!
Other notes: Movies were categorized by the U.S. release date. And if the movie was labeled as “Horror” by IMDB, then it was included for consideration. If the movie was released straight to video, it was considered and reminisced about, but was not allowed to take a top spot.

Let’s go!!

Check out Part 1: 2000-2004

2005 BEST:

LAND OF THE DEAD

This is the fourth of George Romero’s “dead series”. I was afraid it was going to be bad, but I was wrong. If you like zombies and stuff, you should watch it.

2005 WORST:

ALONE IN THE DARK

Once again, Uwe Boll saves Rob Zombie from winning the number one slot. I really wanted to put The Devil’s Rejects here, but Jesus… it might take a genius to make a worse film than Alone in the Dark.

Other movies being considered:
Sasquatch Hunters: a direct to video bag of sewage.
Feast: the film made during Project Greenlight 3. Very run of the mill.
Constantine: Awful. If you ever want to be upset, just pop this in.
The Gingerdead Man: Well… it’s obviously bad!
The Amityville Horror: Man… I don’t really care for the original, but this one is quite a bit worse.
High Tension: Lots of people love this one, but I thought it kind of fell flat.
White Noise: Michael Keaton listening to EVP recordings. Not awful.
The Ring Two: Yes… it’s not worth watching.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose: This film is not bad. Probably one of the better movies involving demonic possession.

2006 BEST:

THE DESCENT

This year sucked. It took me a long time to come to a decision on this, and although The Descent is not a movie I would describe as “a great horror film”, overall, it’s a better film than any of the others that I could think of from 2006.

2006 WORST:

THE LAST WINTER

I was sure that See No Evil was going to win. I mean, what can be worse than a generic horror film made be the WWE and starring Kane?! Well… The Last Winter can! At least See No Evil was entertaining…

More movies from 2006:
Dracula’s Curse: “there was a sweet scene where john harker was driving to romania in his little red convertible, while 80’s hair metal was playing.”
The Hills Have Eyes: The original is fun. This one is not fun.
The Omen: Another remake made for no good reason.
Silent Hill: I enjoyed this. Sure, it’s a stupid video game based film, but it has its moments.
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead: A troma film. What else do you need to know?
Final Destination 3: This one strays a bit from the story of the other two Final Destination movies, but still maintains the dumb fun of the series.

2007 BEST:

BUG

Crazy people getting CRAZY!! I think this movie deserves more respect than it gets. Give it a shot if you like getting crazy!

2007 WORST:

DIARY OF THE DEAD

GODDAMMIT ROMERO! WHAT HAPPENED?! You’ve let us all down.
HERE’S A REVIEW I WROTE AFTER WATCHING IT!

If you don’t believe me, here’s what Matt had to say:

“I think Scott is really wrong in his appraisal of Diary of the Dead by George Herbert Walker Romero. He makes it seem like it’s pretty bad. He claims the actors seem to have been chosen by ‘lottery’. Whatever. Don’t believe him. The truth is that Diary of the Dead is the
BIGGEST LETDOWN OF ALL TIME”

HERE’S THE REST OF HIS REVIEW

Other movies that were considered:
Grindhouse: Both of these movies were a lot of fun. I would recommend them.
I Am Legend: This movie… ugh. fuck you!
Hostel: Part 2: I challenge anyone to make a bigger waste of time.
Hair Extensions: This is a fun Japanese horror film about killer hair extensions.
28 Weeks Later: I liked this one, but it’s nothing like 28 Days Later. Beware!
[rec]: They remade this and called it Quarantine. Don’t watch that one. Watch this one.
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street: Another fun movie. I guess this year wasn’t too bad?!

2008 BEST:

THE ORPHANAGE (aka el orfanato)

Another Spanish orphanage ghost story, and another winner. No big scary monsters or crazy effects, just effective storytelling.

2008 WORST:

DAY OF THE DEAD

Oh bother. Remakes are always bad. Remakes of classics are especially bad. Remakes that just use the name of an old movie to capitalize, and then put a completely different film underneath, well… they have a special place in hell.

The only other film in the running:
The Happening: this film fits perfectly in the slot between good and bad.

2009 BEST:

DRAG ME TO HELL

Sam Raimi’s return to horror. And what a great return! I was nervous, but this is a really well done film.

2009 WORST:

THE THAW

I didn’t hate this film, however it was obviously a lower budget film, and I tend to give these a lot more leeway. Friday the 13th was also in the running, but was more entertaining overall.

The only other movie I saw this year (sorry):
Let the Right One In: I enjoyed this, but I also had some problems with it. It’s good, though!

Sorry about these last couple of years being so low on contenders. If you know of some really good films that I should watch, please let me know!

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scott

Possibly related posts:

• Movie Challenge 2005: Chapter 9
• Least Viewed Posts
• Top Ten Super NES Games
• Top Ten Nintendo 64

Top 10 Horror Movies of the 2000s: Part 1

I was originally just going to do a “Top 10 Horror Films of the Past Decade” list. However, once I started getting into it, I changed my mind. Instead of a list that would have focused on only a couple of strong years, I decided to pick the best horror movie from EACH year. Then I realized that there were way more BAD movies, so I figured I should list the best AND the worst from each year.

Although I stand behind this list 100%, I have to preface it with a disclaimer: I haven’t seen every horror film from the past decade. Sorry. This list will obviously include only those movies which I’ve seen. If you think this list is missing some important films (or if you just disagree with the picks) please let me know.

Other notes: These movies were categorized by the U.S. release date, and if the movie was labeled as “Horror” by IMDB, then it was included for consideration. If the movie was released straight to video, it was considered and reminisced about, but was not allowed to take a top spot.

Let’s go!!

2000 BEST:

AMERICAN PSYCHO

A fun movie, set in the 80s, starring Christian Bale as a yuppie investment-banker-serial-killer. Other people involved whom you may or may not care about: Willem Dafoe, Jared Leto, Chloe Sevigny, and Reese Witherspoon.

It’s been a while since I actually saw American Psycho, so I won’t try and write any sort of review. However, I think a handful of the other Noising Machine authors watched it not too long ago. Maybe one of them will comment?

Very close runner ups were Wild Zero (Guitar Wolf vs. Zombies) and Shadow of the Vampire (What “really” went on during the filming of Nosferatu).

2000 WORST:

There were some really weak horror films from this year, but I think it’s fair to say that none were worse than…
DRACULA 2000!! (aka Dracula 2001 in the UK)

From what I remember, this was your classic “bad actors portraying unlikeable characters within a plot that doesn’t work and doing it for far too long” type of movie. Gerard Butler plays Dracula, and it’s directed by the guy who did My Bloody Valentine 3-D.

Here is something that I wrote on June 3rd, 2005, directly after watching. It could almost pass for a review…

*Spoilers!*
“Dracula 2000: with a name like that, how can it be bad?!!? i remember attempting to watch this back in milford. well, not milford, but the upstairs of milford, otherwise known as “austin’s parents’ house”. i fell asleep during the first 20 minutes. luckily, i made it farther this time! barely. so far it seems i do hate dracula. all the movies have been rather boring. i think vampires are cool, and you could do alot with them, but these movies never seem to see it that way. so… it’s the year 2000, and dracula was never destroyed. his corpse was being held prisoner in an indiana jones type tomb inside van helsing’s vault. some theives break into it, hoping it holds treasure. OOPS!! they die. dracula escapes, grabs a trenchcoat (like a true goth), and attempts to reak havok on new orleans, while searching for van helsing’s daughter. they also gave dracula a new origin. turns out he’s judas. doesn’t work for me, sorry.”

And here’s a much better review by my pal Adam:

best part of the movie is when dracula is in new york and looks up to a big screen that has monster magnet playing on it and says: “brilliant”

proof (about the 3:45 mark):

Other movies from 2000 that were considered:
Final Destination: Stupid movie. But fun. Who cares.
The Gift: I honestly don’t remember much about this, but I’d like to watch it again.
Hollow Man: Runner up for worst film, but WAAAY more entertaining than Dracula 2000.
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2: not good, but not bad enough. read a review of it here… Blair Witch 2 Review.

2001 BEST:

THE DEVIL’S BACKBONE (or el espinazo del diablo)

A Spanish movie about an orphanage in the late 1930s. There’s a ghost too! It’s directed by Guillermo del Torro and produced by Pedro Almodovar, so it’s classy. However, if you’re looking for a movie with lots of gore and loud things jumping out at you, you’ll be disappointed.

2001 WORST:

JASON X

Alright… so Jason Voorhees, that indestructibly cute guy from the Friday the 13th movies, is cryogenically frozen by the government or something. Then it’s the future and these people discover a body and decide to take it to space and re-animate it. Oops. Now Jason becomes “Jason Voorhees 2099” and pretends to be the alien from Alien and kills everyone.

Honestly, I don’t know if this is the worst movie of 2001. For instance, Jeepers Creepers came out this same year. And in the non-major studio category, you’ve got Session 9, Beneath Loch Ness (read my review here), and Children of the Corn: Revelations (although this was direct to video).

With all this in mind, I chose Jason X because really, everyone should have known better.

Other movies from 2001 that were considered:
Frailty: I don’t remember this too well. So…
Bones: You know… Snoop Dogg… acting… (here’s my review)
The Bunker: German soldiers trapped in a bunker going crazy? (here’s my review)
The Forsaken: “The sexiest vampire film since lost boys,” says the quote on the box…
Hannibal: Oh look. Hannibal Lecter doing things.
Dagon: Based on a Lovecraft story. Cool creatures and environment. Thumbs up.
The Others: Pretty good haunted house film.
From Hell: Jack the Ripper story. Just read the Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell graphic novel that it’s based on.

2002 BEST:

28 DAYS LATER

This is the best zombie movie that is not a zombie movie. Very easy pick, because this film can hold its own against all the horror movies from the decade. That being said, I also enjoyed Darkness (more haunted houses) and Spider (Cronenberg film about a crazy guy) quite a bit.

2002 WORST:

FEAR DOT COM

Yikes. Here’s a review from June 6th, 2005:

“Fear Dot Com: even better title than ‘dracula 2000’!! and the actual website address in the movie is FEARDOTCOM.COM!! movies about the internet are always good. good like a blowjob from a meat grinder. remember how health department employees usually go around investigating murders? remember how hemophiliac children like to play in rusted old steel mills? remember how the internet only reaches as far as the edge of town? yeah. someone should make an internet that can go across the whole world!! and someone shoulda read the script before giving the okay to make this film. call me old fashioned, but i feel that when you write a mystery story, you should make it make sense… and be mysterious. and oh my god!! this film is horrible! everything about it!! worse than all of those independent, no budget, shot on video, straight to dvd releases!! oh man… quite possibly worse than jeepers creepers… no. it IS worse than jeepers creepers. alot worse. fuck. time to kill myself.”

Other movies from 2001 that were considered:
Cabin Fever: Ugh. This movie! Ugh.
Ju-on: Not good. Why did Sam Raimi love it?
Queen of the Damned: Any horror film with a soundtrack done by Jonathan Davis from Korn is… worth… seeing?
Deathwatch: British soldiers going crazy? Pretty good.
Red Dragon: Oh?! Hannibal Lecter is back again? Sort of? Dumb.
Cube 2: Hypercube: Pretty much the same as the first, so if you liked the first, you’ll probably like this one.
Dog Soldiers: Soldiers and werewolves, but not as bad as that sounds.
The Ring: I remember this film to be pretty creepy?
Signs: I also enjoyed this film. The effects were DUMB, though, right?
Resident Evil: Another film I remember liking back when I saw it.
Ghost Ship: Some cool deaths. Not bad if you want to waste a couple hours.

2003 BEST:

DREAMCATCHER

There weren’t a lot of GOOD movies to pick from this year. So, although I liked this movie, it basically won best movie by default. Here’s my 2005 review:

“Dreamcatcher: yet another stevie king story. god, i’m getting sick of him. it’s like half the horror section is comprised of his stories. the screenplay was written by guys who worked on return of the jedi, empire strikes back, raiders of the lost ark, butch cassidy and the sundance kid, and the princess bride. so you can imagine it’s gonna be a bit extravagant. this movie was actually pretty good. ever since first seeing the previews a few years ago, i thought it was gonna be dumb. but i was wrong. it was fun. it’s a survival horror/aliens attack film. if only it had will smith in it, i would give it 2 thumbs up.”

2003 WORST:

HOUSE OF THE DEAD

I’m kind of sad that this movie was actually released in the theater. There were sooo many other bad movies from this year, and they’ll all get ignored because of Uwe Boll’s shitty video game adaptation.

Here are a couple of movies that should have won worst film:
Jeepers Creepers 2: Like the first, but somehow much worse.

House of 1000 Corpses: “The acting is shit, the plot is a mix of a played out idea, and a fucking stupid idea, and the characters are just plain annoying.”

Other considerations:
Detour: “a small group of ravers are coming back from some big rave, when they decide to take a detour to find a large field of pot that is supposedly hidden out in the desert. then some tcm rejects attack them.”
Bloodthirst: Legend of Chupacabras: Awful. But obviously home-made, so somewhat forgivable. Review HERE
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Remakes are always good…
The Bone Snatcher: just your basic “monster chasing a couple people around in a secluded area” film. Read the review HERE.
Final Destination 2: about as much fun as the first one. You know.
Freddy Vs Jason: well… you’ve got Freddy… and you’ve got Jason. TOGETHER!!
Beyond Re-Animator: Pretty fun movie. Good gore, etc. Review right HERE.
Identity: From what I can remember, it’s fine, but I’ll never feel the need to re-watch it.
Flesh for the Beast: “pretty much your basic soft core film with murder and gut eating.”
Final Examination: “another shitty shit shit slasher film.”

2004 BEST:

SHAUN OF THE DEAD

Yes, it is a comedy. However, it’s also a great zombie film. It can stand along side Romero’s “Dead” family, playing the role of the crazy uncle. Or something.

2004 WORST:

THE FORGOTTEN

I was going to pick Van Helsing, but at least that movie kind of worked within itself. The Forgotten never worked at any point. Jullianne Moore’s child is missing. Or did she ever have a child? What about McNulty? Did he have a child? WHO CARES.

Other movies that could have topped the lists, if they had tried a little harder:
Saw: When this first came out, I was hoping for a delightful maniac serial killer film. Then I watched it. Yuck.
Blood Gnome: Another direct to video, low budget trash bag. HERE’S a quick review.
Curse of the Komodo: Giant komodo dragons and zombie like creatures. Yes, it SOUNDS good. It doesn’t feel good.
Dark Harvest: Oh! A Killer Scarecrow!? How novel.
Dr. Moreau’s House of Pain: People in shitty masks being shitty. Direct to video.
Creature Unknown: “Like an x-files episode written by a 5 year old and stretched to fit into a feature length format.”
Dawn of the Dead: This is one of the few horror movie remakes that turned out alright. Not as good as the original, obviously, but fine.
The Village: I thought this was fun for what it was.
Exorcist: The Beginning: It was fine. Not great. Awful CGI, from what I remember. You only need to watch it if you’re trying to watch the entire franchise.

CHECK OUT PART 2 (2005-2009)!

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scott

Possibly related posts:

• Movie Challenge 2005: Chapter 9
• 10 Great German Films
• Movie Party: The Rocky Series
• I Very Briefly Grade All Of The Warner Bros. DC Comics Movies

movie challenge 2005: chapter 9

sorry everybody. i’ve been busy with band stuff and label stuff lately.

i’ve got a little bit of free time at the moment, so let’s get back into the movie challenge. right where we left off…

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8

May 12th, 2005

i haven’t felt like doing anything but sleeping for a couple months now. it’s getting bad. i gotta get out of here.

Bones:

not as bad as i expected. it actually had some neat visuals early on, and snoop dogg wasn’t as dreadful as i expected him to be. however, the movie was boring. it never really went anywhere, especially anywhere unexpected, and the end just got stupid. it’s not even a movie to watch for a good chuckle. don’t bother with it.

 

The Boston Strangler:

made in 1968. just 4 years after the killings had ended. i really liked the cinematography and editing. richard fleischer did a lot of split screen shots and cool cropping. i found it rather artistic and unique. but like with all movies ‘based on actual events’, they didn’t really go for realism. actual events were changed to work into the plot twists and to fit the angle they were going for. they made the boston strangler into a split personallity disorder, which wasn’t correct or even speculated in the real case. one interesting thing about the real case is that many people think the boston strangler is still alive and living in the boston area. i found the real story to be fascinating, and recommend anyone interested in serial killers to look into it. i also recommend the film. it’s not accurate, but it’s a well done movie.

some images from: moviescreenshots.blogspot.com
 

The Bunker:

the title is dumb, and the cover is more dumb, but the movie wasn’t that bad. it’s about a small group of german soldiers during ww2. they’re in a bunker. they think the enemy is beginning to surround them, they’re running out of ammo, and they can’t get ahold of any other germans. to top it off, none of them really like each other, and the tunnels built beneath the bunker are supposedly haunted. you never really know if it is haunted, or if they’re just going crazy, or what. the movie never reallly gets suspenseful or anything. it’s decent and made on a small budget, but it seems like it could have been better.

 

Bram Stoker’s Dracula:

i actually didn’t like it much. maybe i expected too much from it? i dunno. i never got into it. i did like some of the visuals and effects and stuff, but it’s not gonna make it on my top horror movies list. i’m sorry. i know that coppola is supposed to be awesome, but he did not impress me at all with this film. and again i want to know why the fuck anyone would give keanu reeves any role more than ‘cop number 1’ or ‘shopkeep’ or ‘extra’.

 

scott

movie challenge 2005: chapter 8

 chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7

May 10th, 2005

Bloodgnome:

another micro-budget film. all shot on video. lots of boobs, blood, and bdsm. the thing about this type of movie, is that you seem to grade ’em on a whole different scale. it’s like saying some grade school kid’s art is great. you wouldn’t say it’s great when compared to a professional artist. so when i say this wasn’t BAD, i’m not saying to go watch it. i’m saying that compared to other movies made by amateurs, it’s not one of the worst. it flowed well, some of the scenes were cool, and the story wasn’t awful. the acting was usually very bad, but that’s a given. for not having a budget, it had some really cool monster puppets.

***that man was not in the film

The Bone Snatcher:

set in the south african desert. something is killing people and leaving nothing but bones. and those bones end up disappearing later. a team of a handful of people working at a mine out there end up having to fight it. yeah. it’s your basic x-files plot, minus aliens and government officials. i liked the monster alot. it was gross and not too rediculous. there wasn’t much to the movie, but i think that helped it. if they had tried adding more stuff it coulda ended up going too long and would’ve probably gotten boring. it wasn’t a bad movie, but it wasn’t memorable. just your basic “monster chasing a couple people around in a secluded area” film.

scott

 

***i can’t tell you how tempted i am to rewrite these things…

movie challenge 2005: chapter 7

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6

May 9th, 2005

The Blair Witch Project:

i really like this movie. the first time i saw it, with lori and jen and morty and chris (and i think others) way back when it was in the theaters, i left unimpressed. but when i re-watched it, i realized how wonderful it is. it leaves practically everything to the imagination. you never actually see any monsters or ghosts or anything, which is great. the acting is very good. and the story is good too. i also like how they went about making it. and i like how they went to all the trouble of making fake documentaries and stuff to help hype the movie. so if you’ve never seen it, i recomend watching it. and if you have seen it, but were unimpressed, i recommend watching it again. preferrably alone and in the dark, with the sound turned up.

The Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2:

what the hell is the book of shadows? after watching the film, i realized i don’t think it was ever even mentioned. the story is pretty interesting. it’s about a group of people who go out to the woods where the tapes from the first movie were found. they set up cameras and sit around drinking and stuff. then they black out, and when they wake up everything is destroyed except the tapes and they don’t remember anything. then they go back to one guy’s house to watch the tapes and more fucked up stuff happens. the acting is shitty at times. parts of it don’t work. but overall, it’s pretty good.

Bleed:

i’ll put it this way… lloyd kaufman plays a tiny roll in it, and that’s the best part. it’s your basic low budget slasher film. lots of boobs, fake looking gore, horrible acting, lame plot, etc. i don’t like slasher films.

Blood Thirst: Legend of the Chupacabra:

this movie was inspiring. if someone can get something this shitty released on dvd, then i KNOW i can make a movie. another low budget independent film. all shot on video with people who obviously aren’t actors. the writing was shit. the pacing was shit. everything was shit. it’s about the chupacabra, and they actually talk about some of the real theories, which is nice, but then they turn the chupacabra into a vampire who is going around killing people. so an old vampire hunter goes after it. then he kills himself to kill the vampire leader, thus ending the terror that all the vampires have caused, and ending the legend of the chupacabra.

 

scott

movie challenge 2005: chapter 6

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5

May 8th, 2005

1:37 am

Beyond Re-Animator:

awesome gore. it’s one of those ‘horror-comedy’ films like dead alive. this is the third in the ‘re-animator’ series. my blockbuster doesn’t have the first two, so i don’t know how it compares to those. i would like to see the others, because the director claims this one has the least amount of gore. this movie was fun for the most part, but seemed to go on a bit too long, and had a few boring parts. that’s the problem with films made just for gore, they rarely use the gore in such a way to keep your attention the whole time. they usually have a bunch of pointless scenes to add more gore, but it takes away from the flow of the movie. the bonus features had a great techno-pop music video called ‘move your dead bones’. i don’t know who it’s by. maybe it would’ve told me if i could’ve sat through more than 30 seconds of it.

2:47 am

well fuck. i just learned there are FIVE MORE amityville movies!!

Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes
The Amityville Curse
Amityville 1992: It’s About Time
Amityville: A New Generation
Amityville Dollhouse

they are all either made for tv movies, or direct to video. luckily, i’ll probably never see any of these.

***i decided to look for the “move your bones” video on youtube. not only did i find the version from beyond re-animator, but also an awfully good flash video featuring furries.

and here’s the WIKIFUR entry about it

scott

movie challenge 2005: chapter 5

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4

May 7th, 2005

2:51 pm

so about 5 hours after that last post, i decided i was a little less of a tuff guy, and a little more of a hypochondriac, so i made a doctors appointment. this sickness really kicked my ass yesterday. today i’m feeling a lot better, but i went to the appointment anyway. gonna go to ‘whole earth day’ later.

Amityville 3-D:

pretty much exactly what i expected from the title. it’s a shitty movie with a tiny, poorly written plot that is sewn together with lame 3-d effects. i guess i can’t accurately call them ‘lame’, since i didn’t have 3-d glasses, but unless these glasses also somehow turn shit into awesomeness, then it doesn’t matter. but i think the movie is better than the other two amityville movies i’ve seen, just because by having “3-D” in the title, you don’t expect it to be good or to be taken seriously. it’s just meant to be fun. it really doesn’t even have anything to do with the amityville horror, except that they used a similar looking house. it could have easily been made without any ties to the amityville horror name. there’s one scene i liked. it wasn’t scary or creepy or anything, but it was reminisent of real ghost stories. the daughter drowns in a boat accident, and at the same moment, her mother sees her walking up the stairs, soaking wet, into her room. oops! i gave away some crucial part of the plot!! alright… i know i’m making this movie sound bad, but don’t completely dismiss it. the film had two great actresses in it before they were famous: meg ryan and LORI LOUGHLIN!!! okay… so neither is really great, but i think allison, at least, will appreciate any movie with Rebecca ‘Becky’ Donaldson Katsopolis in it.

11:07 pm

went to see jason webly tonight. hb says he’s a tom waits rip off, but i like him. when he plays live, it’s just him and an accordian or acoustic guitar, but the cd i bought (the new one) has piano, strings, percussion, everything. i would recommend checking him out.

Beneath Loch Ness:

WOW!! imagine anaconda, but take away all the good stuff, add a worse plot, worse dialogue, worse acting, some bad scottish accents, and computer effects reminiscent of star fox for snes, or at best, turok for nintendo 64. yes sir! worst movie so far, and very likely the worst movie i’ll see.

Amityville II: The Possession:

spouse and child abuse, insest, murder, demonic possesion… what more could you want from a movie? this is the best of the amityville series. it’s supposed to be a prequel to the first film, but it never really says if it’s supposed to be before the defeo family bought the house or before the lutz family bought it. either way, it doesn’t work, cuz it would mean two families were murdered in the house, and the first film doesn’t mention this. this film, like amityville 3-d, doesn’t need to be in the amityville series. it really has very little to do with the house or the first movie. it’s basically just about a kid who becomes posessed. the make up effects are pretty cool at times, but at others they just seem like a cheap imitation of regan from the exorcist. the ending sucked. and over all, the writing was bad. if you want to see a weaker version of the exorcist, rent this film.

The Best of the Amityville Horror Series:
1. Amityville II: The Possession
2. Amityville 3-D
3. The Amityville Horror
4. The Amityville Horror (remake)

the theme from the amityville horror is still up there at the top of my all time favorite theme songs list. spooooky!

 

***boy… i was pretty good at writing/spelling in the old days…

scott

movie challenge 2005: chapter 4

catch up: chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3

May 6th, 2005

i walked to the video store in good spirits. the night was cool, but not cold, my head and throat weren’t hurting like they had recently been accustomed to, i had eaten pizza for dinner, everything was very pleasant. i walked in to blockbuster, and down the isle, turning at the horror section. as my eyes scanned along the first row of dvds, my spirits suddenly fell. sitting on the shelf, staring mockingly at me, were amityville II: The Possession and amityville 3-D. FUCK!! the two amityville movies i’ve seen are worthless, and i wasn’t ready for what i assumed were two more completely awful wastes of time and money, not only for me, but for the people who made the films. after i had quit hyperventilating, and came back to my senses, i realized that both films had miraculously been rented. i breathed a sigh of relief, wiped the cold sweat off my brow, and said a prayer of thanks to whatever god is watching over me. the next two films on the shelf were films i had actually thought about renting before starting this quest. (quest for what? i’m not sure. maybe i’ll find the answer to that at the end of the journey)

Angel Heart:

another film that probably shouldn’t be in the horror section. this is more of a mystery film. it’s about this private detective who is hired by some mysterious “religious fanatic” to find a missing person. it stars mickey rourke, robert de niro, and lisa bonet (of cosby show fame). good film, but you figure out the mystery pretty quick. i like the cinematography, the visuals, and the over all feel that the movie has. lisa bonet is naked alot. so if you ever wanted to see Denise Huxtable Kendall in the nude, then you’ll certainly enjoy this film.

Arachnophobia:

i recomend this film to Ryan C. Meier, and anyone else who has an irrational fear of spiders, because they might actually find it scary. i thought this movie was actually done pretty well. it never got TOO rediculous, although it is just like any other ‘new deadly species’ film. some new species is found in south america and accidentally brought back and released unknowingly into civilization. then people start dying, and no one knows why. then someone thinks they know, but no one believes him/her. then they find out he/she’s right and the last half is all action or tension and special effects. john goodman is in it, and his character is cool. and the spiders are done pretty well. they’re even better than the spiders in the beyond!!

i’m still sick, but i haven’t noticed any red splotches yet, so i’m just going to keep assuming it’s just sinuses, and not strep throat. doctors are lame and a waste of my time, i can’t be bothered to go see one unless it’s an emergency.

scott

movie challenge 2005: chapter 3

some background and chapter 1 is HERE
chapter 2 is HERE

May 4th, 2005

I’m already falling behind schedule. sickness plus the book i’m reading getting interesting equals less time for movies.

an american werewolf in london:

i liked this movie. it had sweet non computer special effects. it was written well, and acted well. however, i’m a sucker for classic monsters, such as werewolves, so others might not like it as much.

an american werewolf in paris:

i guess this is supposedly a sequel, but has nothing to do with the other one at all. except it has werewolves. this was enjoyable too. different than the prequel. this one was less about the dude becoming a werewolf, and more about action. but i didn’t get bored with it, like i do with most action movies, so i guess that’s good. the highlight of this movie is the killer 90’s soundtrack.
check it:

Bush
Refreshments
Better Than Ezra
Cake
Suicide Machines
Skinny Puppy
Caroline’s Spine
Phunk Junkeez

there were others, but i didn’t know who they were, so i didn’t bother listing them.

***get your own copy of the werewolf in paris soundtrack! and listen to it while perusing through other movies with male bondage!

scott