Tag Archives: beneath loch ness review

movie challenge 2005: chapter 5

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4

May 7th, 2005

2:51 pm

so about 5 hours after that last post, i decided i was a little less of a tuff guy, and a little more of a hypochondriac, so i made a doctors appointment. this sickness really kicked my ass yesterday. today i’m feeling a lot better, but i went to the appointment anyway. gonna go to ‘whole earth day’ later.

Amityville 3-D:

pretty much exactly what i expected from the title. it’s a shitty movie with a tiny, poorly written plot that is sewn together with lame 3-d effects. i guess i can’t accurately call them ‘lame’, since i didn’t have 3-d glasses, but unless these glasses also somehow turn shit into awesomeness, then it doesn’t matter. but i think the movie is better than the other two amityville movies i’ve seen, just because by having “3-D” in the title, you don’t expect it to be good or to be taken seriously. it’s just meant to be fun. it really doesn’t even have anything to do with the amityville horror, except that they used a similar looking house. it could have easily been made without any ties to the amityville horror name. there’s one scene i liked. it wasn’t scary or creepy or anything, but it was reminisent of real ghost stories. the daughter drowns in a boat accident, and at the same moment, her mother sees her walking up the stairs, soaking wet, into her room. oops! i gave away some crucial part of the plot!! alright… i know i’m making this movie sound bad, but don’t completely dismiss it. the film had two great actresses in it before they were famous: meg ryan and LORI LOUGHLIN!!! okay… so neither is really great, but i think allison, at least, will appreciate any movie with Rebecca ‘Becky’ Donaldson Katsopolis in it.

11:07 pm

went to see jason webly tonight. hb says he’s a tom waits rip off, but i like him. when he plays live, it’s just him and an accordian or acoustic guitar, but the cd i bought (the new one) has piano, strings, percussion, everything. i would recommend checking him out.

Beneath Loch Ness:

WOW!! imagine anaconda, but take away all the good stuff, add a worse plot, worse dialogue, worse acting, some bad scottish accents, and computer effects reminiscent of star fox for snes, or at best, turok for nintendo 64. yes sir! worst movie so far, and very likely the worst movie i’ll see.

Amityville II: The Possession:

spouse and child abuse, insest, murder, demonic possesion… what more could you want from a movie? this is the best of the amityville series. it’s supposed to be a prequel to the first film, but it never really says if it’s supposed to be before the defeo family bought the house or before the lutz family bought it. either way, it doesn’t work, cuz it would mean two families were murdered in the house, and the first film doesn’t mention this. this film, like amityville 3-d, doesn’t need to be in the amityville series. it really has very little to do with the house or the first movie. it’s basically just about a kid who becomes posessed. the make up effects are pretty cool at times, but at others they just seem like a cheap imitation of regan from the exorcist. the ending sucked. and over all, the writing was bad. if you want to see a weaker version of the exorcist, rent this film.

The Best of the Amityville Horror Series:
1. Amityville II: The Possession
2. Amityville 3-D
3. The Amityville Horror
4. The Amityville Horror (remake)

the theme from the amityville horror is still up there at the top of my all time favorite theme songs list. spooooky!

 

***boy… i was pretty good at writing/spelling in the old days…

scott