My Take on ‘Diary of da Dead’

I think Scott is really wrong in his appraisal of Diary of the Dead by George Herbert Walker Romero. He makes it seem like it’s pretty bad. He claims the actors seem to have been chosen by ‘lottery’. Whatever. Don’t believe him. The truth is that Diary of the Dead is the

BIGGEST LETDOWN OF ALL TIME

I don’t know how any creator could suffer such a dramatic collapse in ability in such a short period of time. I mean, Land of the Dead came out only 3 years earlier! There was a 16 year gap between Return of the Jedi and The Phantom Menace and the drop in quality is nowhere near as dramatic! Exclamation point! I don’t think the actors in this film were chosen at lottery, I think they just chose the very first person that showed up for each part. The only characters that didn’t strike me as very poor were the nerd with the glasses that takes a bath and the farmer fella. EVERYONE else was HORRIBLE.

New paragraph. The stupid professor that just drinks and says ‘profound’ things. How fucking annoying was he?! All he did for me was make the experience less fun than it already was. I mean, this is supposed to be an exciting romp but we have a 90 year old pecker tagging along. It’s like going to the arcade with your dad. Or going to a fight club with your grandpa. Yer gonna be too embarrassed and self-conscious to rilly fill what yer doin’.

The girlfriend was deliriously bad. She talks to the camera constantly and tries to say deep things that come out like Jack Handy’s Deep Thoughts. And then she plays hardball with people that have power over her and for some reason they like her for it.

There’s a black guy in the movie that refers to whites as “the people without suntans”. OH JESUS CHRIST. That’s how a self-righteous, pompous, white guy of the 1960s would have written a black character. Who says that!?

And there’s even a Scream-style event in which early on in the movie some asshole rants about horror movie cliches and then the cliche happens to that character later on. Oh, how self-aware and clever! NO! How lame and self-indulgent.

Finally, previous Dead movies definitely had social commentary but they were FUCKING SUBTLE. This movie has no subtlety at all. I get the feeling that Romero just discovered the internet last year and then a few laters found out about “BLOGS” and he was like “I must do a film about this! How topical and relevant!”

I honestly give this movie an F.

kicknz

5 responses to “My Take on ‘Diary of da Dead’

  1. this is all accurate.

  2. I really don’t know what you mean. The tête-à-tête between boyfriend and girlfriend while they challenge one another to film the true grit of life and death (a beautiful and genuine display of raw depth and emotion) is one of the best scenes ever caught on stolen/abandoned camcorders.

    A faceless camera filming another faceless camera while the existence of the entire human race hangs in the balance!? Maybe you are simply too dense to understand how important this moment is for all of cinema.

    Seriously.

    This was one of the best MST3K episodes I’ve ever seen.

  3. Land of the dead and Day of the dead sucked too

    Romero only had 2 good movies in him

  4. D.O.G.-

    i’m going to assume that you’re joking.

    day of the dead is probably the BEST of his zombie films, and he made some very enjoyable NON-ZOMBIE films too.

    but if you’re NOT joking, check out MY post about “diary”. i listed a handful of romero films that you should watch:

    https://thenoisingmachine.wordpress.com/2008/05/22/diary-of-the-dead/

  5. Boom!

    Great review!

    Movie was awful!

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