Earl Weaver contest

Well well well, look who it is: Earl Fucking Weaver.  I submit that Mr. Weaver had the best name that ever existed, at least within the English-speaking world.  In fact, I challenge you to submit a real name that’s any better.  Bring it!

On a separate note, am I the only person that thinks it’s hilarious that baseball managers wear the same uniform as their players?  Is it just in case they decide to put themselves into the game?  I mean, look at that picture!  Weaver’s even wearing cleats, for Christ’s sake.  Imagine if NBA coaches paced about courtside in jerseys, shorts and kneesocks.  Or better yet, hockey coaches decked out in gloves and skates.  In seriousness, I’m guessing that in the 1800s, a lot of the managers did double as players and thus a retarded tradition was born!

CHALLENGERS
Gaylord Perry (submitted by Ryan, Iowa City, Iowa)
Thrul Ravenscroft (submitted by Daniel, Somewhere, Oregon)

9 responses to “Earl Weaver contest

  1. Gaylord Perry.

    And, according to Wikipedia, even the supposed story behind his name is great.

    “Gaylord Perry was named after a close friend of his father’s, who died while having his teeth pulled.

    I win.

  2. No way. You lose. “Gaylord” is just too fucking obvious. Earl Weaver is beautiful on its own but the name you chose smacks of homophobia, my good man.

  3. Thurl Ravenscroft

    Plus-PLUS: said name-holder was the voice of Tony the fucking Tiger! I defy–DEFY–you to even THINK of poo-pooing that one. You have BEEN bested, sir.

    (Besides: “Earl Weaver” sounds like a children’s malady; an infection of the sinuses or something. Why DO you wish to fuck “Earl Weaver” so direly…? The mind reels in wonder…)

  4. Okay, if you want to play it that way. Yes, the word gay is funny…..GAY……hahaha.

    Okay, we’re done with that. You still got Lord and Perry in there.

    I thought it was a great name back in 5th grade when I got his baseball card out of a box of Raisin Bran and still think it’s great now.

    And sorry, but points lost for the whole “My Name is Earl” phenomenon from a few years back.

    Nice try, Jeeves.

  5. Man, I don’t pay attention to no fucking Jason Lee show! ‘My Name is Earl’ doesn’t even exist in my mind! This contest exists in a vacuum. Names only! No phenomena!

  6. Well, by that rule, it seems as if the homophobic argument just got thrown out. hmm….

  7. Miller’s right, Turby. You just contradicted yourself, philosophically. Either/or, both names presented by the two of you are STILL drivel-shit when compared to the grandeur and majesty that is “Thurl Ravenscroft.” You two might as well do a tandem ritual suicide or something right NOW–run into the sharpened pearl handles of each other’s handmirrors, or sumpin’–for all your bitching and such will help you in Thurl’s magnificent moniker-shadow.

    No, seriously. DIE.

  8. MiloPrometheus

    I had a teller at Banker’s Trust a few times that was named Justice Jackson. AND he was black.

  9. I see your challenge, and I will even restrict my submissions to MLB players!

    Milton Bradley.

    Coco Crisp.

    BRING IT.

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