Gas pricez

Well, as you may or may not know, every luxury that you and I enjoy comes at the expense of someone else. The reason we have so many luxuries and goodies in the US is not because God loves us the most or because we work hard and others are lazy. We have these things because we used our might early on to carve out a controlling interest in the world’s resources and because, admittedly, we’re not ass-backwards like, say, SAUDI ARABIA.

A lot of people, myself included, have been crying about rising gas prices lately but our prices have been RIDICULOUSLY far beneath fair market value for years and years. People that blame the big American oil companies are confused. Yes, big boys like Exxon are making record profits but that’s just because the percentage of their take naturally rises with price being charged by their supplier: OPEC. And no, OPEC is not raising prices just for fun. They’re doing it because demand is higher than ever, thanks to people who once did without while we did with. Chinese and Indians are buying cars now and BAM, demand skyrockets.

The funniest part about all of this has to be the recent demands by W. that OPEC drill more oil. LOLOLOLOLOLOL Why the fuck would they do that? They’re selling it now at a very high FAIR MARKET VALUE. They know the oil won’t last forever so why the fuck should they deplete it more quickly than necessary just so we don’t have to pay as much here? Their response was basically: Drill your own fucking oil, USA.

If I were King of the US, or the Illuminati, or whoever runs things, I would prepare Alaska and Florida for drilling but not really make use of the facilities. I would make the US weather the pricing storm and reserve our oil supplies for 2 things: 1) that future day when OPEC runs out of oil and we can become rich on Texas tea! and 2) the future super war with China, may they rest in peace.


5 responses to “Gas pricez

  1. Every time I try to point this out to people lately, ie “You know, I just came from Europe, and they’re paying, like 12 bucks a gallon for gas.” I feel like this:



  2. 1) Oil companies take 7% on every dollar they make. It’s not $36 billion, it’s more like $2.5 billion they get to pocket.

    2) The funniest thing was not that the President went hat in hand to the Saudis but that the Democrat-controlled congress tried to SUE Opec for basically making too much money. Let’s sue google while we’re at it and get some of that internet money. Obama supports the windfall profits tax too, you dems. So be sure to vote for that retard.

    3) We will have air superiority over China within a week.

  3. Wow, man, the lack of thinking in this guy’s comment kind of boggles the non-retarded mind (which is why, presumably, the writer-in-question, “Johnny B,” was not thusly boggled during writing)…

    1) Oil companies do not “take” 7% on every dollar they make. That infers they are taxed at a 93% scale, you fucking clod. Oil companies USED to have an incremental profit margin of around 7% (i.e. they used to make an additional 7 cents on every dollar’s worth of product sold)—back in 2005! THESE days, according to their own figures, oil companies average somewhere between .10 and .14 per dollar of product sold (i.e. for every dollar they pay per barrel, you’re paying, on average, $1.12). Granted, that’s not an INSANELY good profit margin for any product—FAR below pharmaceuticals, electronics, and such—but, then again, pharmaceuticals, electronics, and such are not paid for by EVERY SINGLE CITIZEN NO MATTER HOW MUCH A RESPECTIVE CITIZEN USES EACH ON A PER-PERSON-MEAN BASIS, stupid fuck! Don’t want to purchase that jar full of Pfizer that gets you all bonerlicious about writing an über-retarded screed in FAVOR of—*boo-hoo*—the poor, trodden-upon oil executive? Don’t. I GUARANTEE you they won’t charge you. Not so with oil. You’re paying for it, REGARDLESS. Because it’s fucking EVERYWHERE.

    You may not realize this, but most products you can purchase (i.e. the other, much more lucrative trades as aforementioned) have an ancillary charge pre-attached for the shipping and fabrication OF said product—all of which REQUIRES oil! So, regardless of whether you believe oil is making the bucks those other behemoths are in the per-dollar-profit-margin scheme of things, they’re actually making MORE! Need a TV? It took OIL! Need a sandwich? It took OIL! Need—and you most certainly DO—a lobotomy? ‘Twill CERTAINLY take OIL! No other free market commodity has such a stranglehold tacit inclusion on the others as does oil. The only other ubiquitous trade material that makes as shitty a profit margin as oil is food, which is, by the way, really the only other TRULY “ubiquitous” money-maker, as pertaining to the necessity-versus-luxury scale of capitalism. And what did it take to manufacture, store, and deliver said food? Oil, moron. Of course, in the converse rationale, it MUST have taken FOOD to manufacture, store, and deliver OIL, yeah? Oops. It turns out you’re quite retarded, John-Boy.

    2) “It’s not $36 billion, it’s more like $2.5 billion [oil companies] get to pocket.” Of whom do you speak, Mongo Lloyd, CPA extraordinaire? Because, once again, according to oil companies’ OWN figures, as presented to the Congressional Research Service this month in reference to fiscal year 2007, profits for oil companies came out at “over $155 billion” for the year, “75% of which were earned by the five major oil companies, with the largest, ExxonMobil, earning over 25% of the total profit”. Once again, you are clearly thinking with your mom’s dick on this one. Try using your brain—or Google, wunderkind of global omnipotence that it is—next time.

    Must I ALSO bring up the fact—apparently, I must—that recorded revenues of oil companies in fiscal year 2007 totaled “approximately $1.9 TRILLION [emphasis mine], of which 78% was accounted for by the five major integrated oil companies”? So pulling out “but day hab bill a pay” is NOT going to do one much good in this scenario. And I KNOW you were thinking it…

    3) Speaking of which, another of your argumentative gems: “Let’s sue [G]oogle while we’re at it and get some of that internet money.” Great analogy, cretin. Because, as we all know, Google CHARGES people for its general, day-to-day usage. And, of COURSE, Google IS, in fact, a non-replenishable natural resource that, like oil, is sold as if it is “owned” by someone. And, of course, regardless of whether people realize it or not, their likewise-day-to-day a’doin’s are ALL tied up in Google. Need a TV? Google’s gotcha covered, ace! Need a sandwich? Google’s cornered THAT market, sweet ride! We’ve already established that you DIRELY require a lobotomy, so I won’t over-indulge on that score. Let’s just say you’re a giant, giant, drumming fuckwit, and leave it at that.

    4) “Obama supports the windfall profits tax too, you [D]ems. So be sure to vote for that retard.” I don’t know if you’re pulling out ye olde redneck “Socialism” card here or not (you sound almost too uninformed and stupid to be even the current day permutation of a “Republican”; are you a fucking LIBERTARIAN?! [Giggling and clapping my tiny hands gleefully]), but, either way, this statement makes no sense. The ORIGINAL windfall profits tax was in effect before your—most likely—role model and personal-lord-and-retarded-savior, Ronald Reagan, nixed it back in the day. Obama isn’t even quoting the INTENT of such a bill correctly, if the mainstream media’s relation of his plans is to be believed (post-script: Obama is a fucking RETARD as well, don’t get me wrong; you two are peas in a pod-with-its-own-shit-smeared-in-its-hair to me [i.e. I’m not a “registered Democrat” by ANY stretch of the imagination]).

    It’s SUPPOSED to be a national tax imposed on the difference between the set market price of oil and a constantly self-reconfiguring/adjusting “necessitation price” (i.e. a price below which oil companies cannot make profit under normal circumstances) so that profits do not become EXORBITANT (which they most certainly HAVE over the last few years), to the detriment of the taxpaying citizen. Obama MAY, in fact, be dumbing the original constitution of the bill down, but I’m not here to stick up for Obama. I’m here to correct retarded supposed “conservatives” who would fuck their mother’s mouth for a $100 bill if they felt certain they didn’t have to give two cents of it to federal taxes [i.e. you]. Inasmuch, are you REALLY citing as part of your “argument” that “dems” that are against profiteering conglomerate agents like ExxonMobil should feel some remorse at supporting a candidate who—for WHATEVER reason, correct of not—is ALSO against said agent? It seems impossible, but you really DO get more retarded with each sentence! You’re a marvel of modern retarded science!

    4) How, precisely, does a country gain “air superiority” over another country of roughly the same land mass (plus or minus Wyoming)—and within such a modest timeframe—in which said invading force has NO major airbases? Not only THAT, but said country being so easily “dominated” has the ONLY semi-proven anti-satellite missile network in existence (sort of necess’ry for international assault to do much good); has tactical proposals lined up for the contingency usage of e-bombs in just SUCH a scenario; is within QUITE accurate missile range of all bordering land masses in which said dominating country actually HAS carved for itself pithy military bases (and UPON which said dominated country has stated intentions to USE said missiles, given the circumstances [or less]); has a general, proven disregard for its own populace in the face of international retaliation and/or invasion; has a generally sub-Persian public broadcasting network combined with an historically easily-manipulated-and-polarized-against-outsiders citizenry; has roughly 4.5 times as many citizens en totale; and is mostly surrounded by water and/or neighboring countries who ALSO despise said dominating country? HUH, idiot? Because “We’re AMERICA! [Spittoon rimshot]”?

    Have you HEARD of “Vietnam” before, you clod? IRAQ, even?! Granted, your heroes all fought like the dickens not to be sent to any such place in their youths, but m’yeh… Well, multiply the areas in THOSE cases that we’ve “conquered” so EASILY thus far by 20 times or so, and you’ve got the “easy money” you’re cumming all over your William F. Buckley matching hand towels over. Hey, here’s a brilliant idea! Let’s just use “nucular” weapons! YAY! PROBLEM SOLVED! Right?

    If you answered “yes” to this question, and/or wrote ANY of the preceding comment I’m replying to NOW, you are most CERTAINLY a redneck! Jeff Foxworthy, eat your [mother’s vagina] out!

    Post-Script: Turby, your original assessment that “the percentage of [oil companies’] take naturally rises with price being charged by their supplier: OPEC” is ALSO pretty stupid, though not NEARLY as sister-rapin’ good as most of the stuff offered by “Johnny”. That’s not “naturally” the way it’s SUPPOSED to work, anyway. If oil companies are charged more per barrel by OPEC, they, in turn, exponentially hike their OWN prices to Tom & Suzy Consumer to offset the previous hike. Exponentially. As in: Instead of charging $2.40/gallon for gas, and raking in a 3% profit jump at the end of the fiscal year, they charge $4.40/gallon for gas, and rake in a 3% profit jump at the end of the fiscal year—not 34%, six years in a row! Whatever you THINK you’re talking about, the math is screwy. Not to mention the globally-and-historically-manifested trend of higher demand in ANY product being met with concomitant higher regulation and scrutiny by enforcing agencies—not the other way around, as is most CERTAINLY the case today.

    Post-Post-Script: Randy Johns HIMSELF, Champion of Hating Liberals, was even heard to mutter, “These Republicans and their gas prices are RIDICULOUS!” And this IS the same guy that met Justin Niceswanger during BVU’s Scholarship Days in the Choir Hall and reported afterward that said building was, apparently, a “fagatorium”. So! I’m gonna have to go with the PROVEN logistician on this’un, cheese. It’s kind of ironclad… Sosolly.

  4. For Johnny: a little more succint, and a little less volatile:

    1. The oil companies are making profit margins so high, that even Congress has begun to notice.

    2. Anyone who still has a knee-jerk reaction against taxes has never played SimCity. It’s the SPENDING! You shouldn’t spend more than you take in!

    3. Air superiority isn’t everything. Especially since the Chinese has several advantages over us at the moment.

    Let’s try to keep the tone a little more respectful; I’d hate to think this blog might get shut down, like so many others, because people got out of control over nothing. Let’s save it for something important: like how Coldplay sucks. :-P


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