Scott, You Are Still Dead To Me

Ugh, Top Ten PS2 games. This list is somewhat more informed than my PS1 list. Probably still shitty, though. This list will play to the system’s strenghts and not include games that I haven’t played for it due to the fact that they exist in slightly superior forms on GameCube or Xbox (like Prince of Persia or Resident Evil 4).


– Just like Soulcalibur 1 and 2 but new and slightly improved. NEXT!


– In truth, there’s not a great deal that’s new about this game except for 3D backgrounds. The sprites are all old and the fighting is still basically Street Fighter Alpha. I don’t care, I like it!

#8 STAR WARS BATTLEFRONT (LucasArts/Pandemic)

– I might like this game for the wrong reasons but I like it all the same. Yes, it definitely captures the overall feel of Star Wars and there’s a good chance I wouldn’t like this game as much if all the characters and settings were replaced with WWII themes, for example. The game consists of large-scale battles between Imperial and Rebel forces. You play as some dude for awhile and then when you die, you play as another dude, until one of the sides runs out of dudes. So you kill kill kill. And you can shoot Ewoks and Jawas in the head!

#7 TEKKEN 5 (Namco)

– Just like all the other Tekkens but new and improved! NEXT!


– No, I have not beaten this game but it’s on the list, anyway. Still, I’ve played through most of it and loved what I’ve seen. Basically, it’s very true to the 16-bit era Contras in that the game consists largely of set pieces – you can’t advance until you beat this mid-boss or snowboard down this hill, etc.. Everything is in 3D but it plays in 2D. It’s a very romantic game.


– A pretty fun and unique idea – make some little asshole push around a big clump to collect garbage and make the clump grow. The music is fun, the atmosphere is retarded and fun, the graphics are horrible in an acceptable way. Generally fun. Too bad all the sequels are just the same fuckin’ game.

#4 GOD HAND (Capcom/Clover)

– Opinions vary on this game but it’s sweet. It clearly uses an altered version of the Resident Evil 4 engine but it’s all about beatin’ people up. There’s actually a sense of humor here, too. A legit one! At times I laughed out loud for the right reasons. There are many ways to customize your combos and lots of women to beat up if you’re a He-Man Woman Hater like myself. The main drawback is that the gameplay is so furious that my arm actually hurt after long playing sessions.

#3 URBAN REIGN (Namco)

– Everyone hates this game but I loved it. I think the critics are turning into real pussies these days as they all cried about the steep learning curve in this game. Yeah, it’s hard, super hard at times but I found it to be extremely addictive. Sure, some of the missions took many, many attempts to beat but I don’t think I ever quit a session in frustration. This game is sort of a blend of a vs. fighting game and beat-em-up. There are 100 missions. Sometimes you fight against a single guy. Sometimes you fight against as many as 5. Sometimes you have a partner. The controls are somewhere between a fighting game and a wrestling game and there’s actually a lot you can do, most of it pretty brutal. Definitely underrated.


– A very unique and special game and, incredibly, it was developed by Sony. The entire game consists of searching an almost deserted and varied countryside searching for Colossi. When you find them you fight them. But they’re HUGE. Most of them have to be climbed or mounted in some way. So in a nut shell the game has 2 parts: wandering around and then boss fights. That’s it! But it’s great.


– Beat it and eat it. This game mixes things up a lot more than its predecessor with elements like managing camouflage and treating your dude’s wounds coming into play. The previous games had bosses with unlikely abilities but they have straight up super powers in this game. Somehow you can still just kill them with yer gunz. The story and “philosophy” in this game are so stupid you’ll fall off the couch but maybe (kinda) in a good way. The bad: the fighting moves are a bit awkward and the climax goes on for fucking ever.


4 responses to “Scott, You Are Still Dead To Me

  1. It’s probably a good thing I got a PS2 over a Gamecube….j/k

    Katamari is one of my favorite games of all time.

  2. i have played TWO of these games.

    what do you think about the other ps2 contra? also… i wanna play colossus pretty bad, but does it take hours and days and weeks to complete or even do anything?

  3. I like ‘Neo Contra’ quite a bit but I just respect Shattered Soldier a bit more. My main problem with Neo Contra is that it’s not good enough to just beat all the levels to go to the final levels, you have to beat them with a really high grade and there’s this one goddamn section where your dude is running on helicopter blades and you have to target these guns on a huge airship and if you don’t hit them all you won’t get a super magical high score and that alone can hold you back from getting to those final levels. Booo!

  4. PS – On the Colossus issue, no, it does NOT take a long time to do anything in the game. It’s actually a very straightforward game, most of the time. When you hold up your magic sword, if the sun is hitting it a light will point in the direction of the next Colossus. Sometimes you might hit a barrier and then you have to figure out how to get around it but mostly the traveling is just an immersive, aesthetic experience and not so much gameplay. It just adds to things. As far the colossi go, sometimes they take a long time to beat and sometimes there are things you have to figure out as you fight them. They can take a long time to beat but many of them are so big that you can easily hide and recover. I think my save file says I took 16 hours to beat the game so roughly an hour for each Colossus. It’s a very easy game to just pick back up if you don’t play it for awhile.

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