There are currently FOUR types of Doritos (Nacho Cheese, Taco, Spicy Sweet Chili and Blazin’ Buffalo Ranch) in the vending machine. There is always at least one type of Doritos, and sometimes two, but this time I think the Doritos Guy (the vending machine stockman) is really trying to get Corporate Four riled up. Here is my ranking of Doritos flavors:

13. Salsa Verde: I’m really surprised they are still making these. I remember I got in trouble when these were first available for making my Mom buy them and not wanting to finish them because they smelled and tasted so bad.
12. Toasted Corn: These barely count as Doritos. I wish they would go away.
11. Fiery Habanero: Nothing to write home about.
10. Hot Wings/Blue Cheese: This is too much flavor. I can only eat less than half a bag.
9. Zesty Taco/Chipotle Ranch: Two flavors that are better alone than together.
8. Natural White Nacho Cheese: These kind of have a water-downed flavor.
7. Smokin’ Cheddar BBQ: Decent
6. Blazin’ Buffalo Ranch: See #10.
5. Nachos 3-D: I think they don’t deserve such a high ranking, but they are gimmicks and I love gimmicks. I will admit that the light texture brings down the overall chip, definitely does not have the Cheetos Puffs effect.
4. Spicy Nacho: I love these. They never disappoint.
3. Cool Ranch AKA Cooler Ranch: A classic.
2. Taco: I crave this flavor more than any other Doritos flavor.
1. Nacho Cheese AKA Nacho Cheesier: The original is the best, duh. In the last 20 or so years, it seems like the recipe has slightly changed, but there is no substitute for this undeniably awesome product!

I am yet to try Poppin’ Jalapeño, Ranchero, Spicy Sweet Chili and Sizzlin’ Picante. Ooops!


5 responses to “Doritos

  1. Yer dumb. Salsa Verde is probably #3. I didn’t even know they still made the jalapeno one but that’s what got me hooked on jalapenos . . . ten years ago! Where’s my walker?

  2. What??? Toasted Corn is way better than half of these crappy flavors!

    And I didn’t even know they made Taco still. I think I’ve only had them once, but have forever loved them.

  3. nataliebeth

    toasted corn isn’t BAD, but it’s not a dorito. i only care about nacho cheesier, which is always the best. and cooler ranch is good but you have to be in the right mood. and i need to try taco.

    this is the best ‘top ten’ list on this blog!! except it’s not top ten but that is okay.

  4. You are 100% correct that Nacho Cheesier is the best flavor choice currently available.

    I say “correct” because this is obviously NOT a matter of taste, but a universal, scientific truth.

    I say “currently available” because I actually like Nacho Cheese better than Nacho Cheesier.
    I still don’t understand why everyone has to try and make my snack foods EXTREME.

  5. orangehairboy

    Spicy Sweet Chili are actually pretty F-ing amazing. I only got them because I was stuck at Target, waiting for my girlfriend to decide on which gazebo she wanted, and I was hungry, and the snack aisle was right there. I probably was lured in because they sponsored the Colbert Report, and plus I realized they were totally vegan. So I got ’em out of media pressure and desperation, but now they’re my favorite flavored snack chip.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s