Things That Are Completely Irrelevant #48X: The Incredible Hypocrisy That Is Israel

The last post, along with all the silly Israel stuff this week, has forced my hand. It’s time to talk about Israel. And it’s time to be honest about Israel.

I’m not a fan of the culture of the Middle East. I don’t wish ill will toward anyone but I’m not terribly sympathetic to a region of the world where the most common solution to a rape is for the victim’s brother to kill her in order to restore the family’s honor. I laugh at a region where playing a sport resembling polo but using a headless goat corpse as the ‘ball’ is commonplace. I do not respect a regional culture that allows people to be killed because of their religion.

In the middle of all that, or tucked on the left side, anyway, is little ol’ Israel, full of people from outside of the Middle East. These fellas don’t have many of the faults I just pointed out about their neighbors but they do have one pretty big fault: the only problem is they just moved there 60 years ago, took their land by force (with help from UK and USA), and have held onto that land – by force. Worse yet, they have rounded up the people that were already living there at the time and told them they can live in these two small areas on the outskirts of the country where poverty, unemployment and crime persist. This group of people have to pass through heavily armed checkpoints if they want to travel into the mainstream sections of Israel. If they work in the “mainland” they have to be back in their shithole by a certain time.

We call this apartheid.

And occupation.

And we are huge hypocrites.
(Insert pompous statement here)

The whole world bent over backwards to condemn South Africa for their apartheid. Everyone loves to bash China for their occupation of Tibet. So why the fuck is what’s happening in Israel okay? And why are Republicans so dead set on supporting Israel no matter what? It’s because the whole fucking thing is our fault. Sure, WWII was Germany’s fault. Everyone felt bad for the Jews, QUITE REASONABLY. But no one, NO ONE, would actually set aside any of their land for this downtrodden group of people. And after we crushed Germany following WWI we were so afraid of crushing them into bitter people all over again that we really coddled those fucks after WWII. What horseshit. A chunk, a LARGE chunk, of Germany and Italy should have been taken and handed over to the Jews. With a big buffer zone around it, to be eventually lifted at the discretion of the Jews.

Instead we swept everything under the rug when Britain, exerting their colonial muscle over much of the Middle East at the time, “gave” Palestine to the Jews. Unfortunately, the Jews bit hard on the whole process. The pain and torture that the Germans gave to the Jews has been passed on to the Palestinians for sixty years now. And we’re surprised that Arabs, Persians, Pakistanis and Afghanis hate Israel?! And hate us for supporting them? Jesus Herbert Walker Christ! I saw we just end the whole thing now. We have a whole shitload of unoccupied land. Let’s start New Israel. We’ll fly the whole country over and they can have a big chunk of Montana bordering Canada. They wouldn’t have a seaport but we would lift any and all tariffs and import taxes to negate that burden.

The End


3 responses to “Things That Are Completely Irrelevant #48X: The Incredible Hypocrisy That Is Israel

  1. thenoisingmachine

    but it’s the promised land!

  2. nataliebeth

    i completely agree with this post…one of my flatmates is israeli, so i never get to talk about this hahaha without getting killed. but yeah! why is the republican party, and actually, much of america, so intent on the protection of israel? i mean, i do understand why, but it’s strange that it’s persisted for that last half century.

    hahhaha. montana is the promised land.

  3. nataliebeth

    i didn’t mean to add that already but montana has a festival each year called the testicle festival.

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