might as well add one more video game related post…

burgertime is one of my current favorite games. originally released as an arcade game in 1982, it’s sort of a maze type of game where you climb ladders and walk across the various parts of a giant hamburger, dropping them down on each other until they make COMPLETE giant hamburgers. as if making giant hamburgers wasn’t hard enough work, you’ve got a bunch of asshole hot dogs and pickles and eggs or something chasing you around. i’m not sure what the story is exactly…

burgertime was ported to aproximately ONE MILLION home systems, and i play it fairly regularly on the NES. i don’t know which port is the most faithful to the arcade, but i DO know that the current arcade high score is 9,000,000 points. and that’s fucking dumb.


this commercial is what made me think of writing anything at all about this game.

and THIS is some awful nerd playing it.



there are a few sequels that i need to play:

diner (1984) was only released for the intellivision. it was programmed by ray kaesner, the same guy who did the original. AND it was originally “masters of the universe II”. through some sort of mix up or something, the planned sequel, PIZZA TIME, was never completed, but luckily ray was working on the sequel to “masters of the universe” when INTV corp decided they needed a new burgertime and couldn’t wait any longer. because of the incorporation of the he-man code, this game doesn’t look anything like it’s predecessor, but your end goal of getting food from the top to the bottom of the screen is the same.

peter pepper’s ice cream factory (1984), arcade only, seems to be slightly different, but still in the same vein. make ice cream cones. couldn’t find much on this baby.

super burgertime (1990) sounds like it should’ve been released solely on the super nintendo, but was actually only in the arcade. it’s got new bad guys, new weapons, some super giant hamburgers, and bosses. looks good.

burgertime deluxe (1992) was released on the game boy, and later on the game boy color as the flintstones: burgertime in bedrock.

this one looks alright:

this one looks like shit:




3 responses to “burgertime!

  1. Burgertime is awesome. It is basically the monomyth of games. In every game since, distilled down to it essence, you are just trying to make some burgers before the hotdogs murder you. That goes for life as well.

    This is a pretty great video using BurgerTime as an allegory for class struggle:

    and here is one using it to simulate a the matchup between Western Kentucky and San Diego in this years NCAA Basketball Tourney:

  2. Hello, cstockman. Do you, by chance, belong to a Burgertime cult?

  3. if you do belong to a burgertime cult, how can i join?

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