I was originally just going to do a “Top 10 Horror Films of the Past Decade” list. However, once I started getting into it, I changed my mind. Instead of a list that would have focused on only a couple of strong years, I decided to pick the best horror movie from EACH year. Then I realized that there were way more BAD movies, so I figured I should list the best AND the worst from each year.
Although I stand behind this list 100%, I have to begin with a disclaimer: I haven’t seen every horror film from the past decade. This list will obviously include only those movies which I’ve seen. If you think this list is missing some important films (or if you just disagree with the picks) please let me know!
Other notes: Movies were categorized by the U.S. release date. And if the movie was labeled as “Horror” by IMDB, then it was included for consideration. If the movie was released straight to video, it was considered and reminisced about, but was not allowed to take a top spot.
This is the fourth of George Romero’s“dead series”. I was afraid it was going to be bad, but I was wrong. If you like zombies and stuff, you should watch it.
Once again, Uwe Boll saves Rob Zombie from winning the number one slot. I really wanted to put The Devil’s Rejects here, but Jesus… it might take a genius to make a worse film than Alone in the Dark.
This year sucked. It took me a long time to come to a decision on this, and although The Descent is not a movie I would describe as “a great horror film”, overall, it’s a better film than any of the others that I could think of from 2006.
I was sure that See No Evil was going to win. I mean, what can be worse than a generic horror film made be the WWE and starring Kane?! Well… The Last Winter can! At least See No Evil was entertaining…
More movies from 2006: Dracula’s Curse: “there was a sweet scene where john harker was driving to romania in his little red convertible, while 80’s hair metal was playing.” The Hills Have Eyes: The original is fun. This one is not fun. The Omen: Another remake made for no good reason. Silent Hill: I enjoyed this. Sure, it’s a stupid video game based film, but it has its moments. Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead: A troma film. What else do you need to know? Final Destination 3: This one strays a bit from the story of the other two Final Destination movies, but still maintains the dumb fun of the series.
If you don’t believe me, here’s what Matt had to say:
“I think Scott is really wrong in his appraisal of Diary of the Dead by George Herbert Walker Romero. He makes it seem like it’s pretty bad. He claims the actors seem to have been chosen by ‘lottery’. Whatever. Don’t believe him. The truth is that Diary of the Dead is the
BIGGEST LETDOWN OF ALL TIME”
Other movies that were considered: Grindhouse: Both of these movies were a lot of fun. I would recommend them. I Am Legend: This movie… ugh. fuck you! Hostel: Part 2: I challenge anyone to make a bigger waste of time. Hair Extensions: This is a fun Japanese horror film about killer hair extensions. 28 Weeks Later: I liked this one, but it’s nothing like 28 Days Later. Beware! [rec]: They remade this and called it Quarantine. Don’t watch that one. Watch this one. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street: Another fun movie. I guess this year wasn’t too bad?!
Oh bother. Remakes are always bad. Remakes of classics are especially bad. Remakes that just use the name of an old movie to capitalize, and then put a completely different film underneath, well… they have a special place in hell.
The only other film in the running: The Happening: this film fits perfectly in the slot between good and bad.
I didn’t hate this film, however it was obviously a lower budget film, and I tend to give these a lot more leeway. Friday the 13th was also in the running, but was more entertaining overall.
The only other movie I saw this year (sorry): Let the Right One In: I enjoyed this, but I also had some problems with it. It’s good, though!
Sorry about these last couple of years being so low on contenders. If you know of some really good films that I should watch, please let me know!
I was originally just going to do a “Top 10 Horror Films of the Past Decade” list. However, once I started getting into it, I changed my mind. Instead of a list that would have focused on only a couple of strong years, I decided to pick the best horror movie from EACH year. Then I realized that there were way more BAD movies, so I figured I should list the best AND the worst from each year.
Although I stand behind this list 100%, I have to preface it with a disclaimer: I haven’t seen every horror film from the past decade. Sorry. This list will obviously include only those movies which I’ve seen. If you think this list is missing some important films (or if you just disagree with the picks) please let me know.
Other notes: These movies were categorized by the U.S. release date, and if the movie was labeled as “Horror” by IMDB, then it was included for consideration. If the movie was released straight to video, it was considered and reminisced about, but was not allowed to take a top spot.
It’s been a while since I actually saw American Psycho, so I won’t try and write any sort of review. However, I think a handful of the other Noising Machine authors watched it not too long ago. Maybe one of them will comment?
There were some really weak horror films from this year, but I think it’s fair to say that none were worse than… DRACULA 2000!! (aka Dracula 2001 in the UK)
From what I remember, this was your classic “bad actors portraying unlikeable characters within a plot that doesn’t work and doing it for far too long” type of movie. Gerard Butler plays Dracula, and it’s directed by the guy who did My Bloody Valentine 3-D.
Here is something that I wrote on June 3rd, 2005, directly after watching. It could almost pass for a review…
*Spoilers!*
“Dracula 2000: with a name like that, how can it be bad?!!? i remember attempting to watch this back in milford. well, not milford, but the upstairs of milford, otherwise known as “austin’s parents’ house”. i fell asleep during the first 20 minutes. luckily, i made it farther this time! barely. so far it seems i do hate dracula. all the movies have been rather boring. i think vampires are cool, and you could do alot with them, but these movies never seem to see it that way. so… it’s the year 2000, and dracula was never destroyed. his corpse was being held prisoner in an indiana jones type tomb inside van helsing’s vault. some theives break into it, hoping it holds treasure. OOPS!! they die. dracula escapes, grabs a trenchcoat (like a true goth), and attempts to reak havok on new orleans, while searching for van helsing’s daughter. they also gave dracula a new origin. turns out he’s judas. doesn’t work for me, sorry.”
And here’s a much better review by my pal Adam:
best part of the movie is when dracula is in new york and looks up to a big screen that has monster magnet playing on it and says: “brilliant”
proof (about the 3:45 mark):
Other movies from 2000 that were considered: Final Destination: Stupid movie. But fun. Who cares. The Gift: I honestly don’t remember much about this, but I’d like to watch it again. Hollow Man: Runner up for worst film, but WAAAY more entertaining than Dracula 2000. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2: not good, but not bad enough. read a review of it here… Blair Witch 2 Review.
A Spanish movie about an orphanage in the late 1930s. There’s a ghost too! It’s directed by Guillermo del Torro and produced by Pedro Almodovar, so it’s classy. However, if you’re looking for a movie with lots of gore and loud things jumping out at you, you’ll be disappointed.
Alright… so Jason Voorhees, that indestructibly cute guy from the Friday the 13th movies, is cryogenically frozen by the government or something. Then it’s the future and these people discover a body and decide to take it to space and re-animate it. Oops. Now Jason becomes “Jason Voorhees 2099” and pretends to be the alien from Alien and kills everyone.
With all this in mind, I chose Jason X because really, everyone should have known better.
Other movies from 2001 that were considered: Frailty: I don’t remember this too well. So… Bones: You know… Snoop Dogg… acting… (here’s my review) The Bunker: German soldiers trapped in a bunker going crazy? (here’s my review) The Forsaken: “The sexiest vampire film since lost boys,” says the quote on the box… Hannibal: Oh look. Hannibal Lecter doing things. Dagon: Based on a Lovecraft story. Cool creatures and environment. Thumbs up. The Others: Pretty good haunted house film. From Hell: Jack the Ripper story. Just read the Alan Moore and Eddie Campbellgraphic novel that it’s based on.
This is the best zombie movie that is not a zombie movie. Very easy pick, because this film can hold its own against all the horror movies from the decade. That being said, I also enjoyed Darkness (more haunted houses) and Spider (Cronenberg film about a crazy guy) quite a bit.
“Fear Dot Com: even better title than ‘dracula 2000′!! and the actual website address in the movie is FEARDOTCOM.COM!! movies about the internet are always good. good like a blowjob from a meat grinder. remember how health department employees usually go around investigating murders? remember how hemophiliac children like to play in rusted old steel mills? remember how the internet only reaches as far as the edge of town? yeah. someone should make an internet that can go across the whole world!! and someone shoulda read the script before giving the okay to make this film. call me old fashioned, but i feel that when you write a mystery story, you should make it make sense… and be mysterious. and oh my god!! this film is horrible! everything about it!! worse than all of those independent, no budget, shot on video, straight to dvd releases!! oh man… quite possibly worse than jeepers creepers… no. it IS worse than jeepers creepers. alot worse. fuck. time to kill myself.”
Other movies from 2001 that were considered: Cabin Fever: Ugh. This movie! Ugh. Ju-on: Not good. Why did Sam Raimi love it? Queen of the Damned: Any horror film with a soundtrack done by Jonathan Davis from Korn is… worth… seeing? Deathwatch: British soldiers going crazy? Pretty good. Red Dragon: Oh?! Hannibal Lecter is back again? Sort of? Dumb. Cube 2: Hypercube: Pretty much the same as the first, so if you liked the first, you’ll probably like this one. Dog Soldiers: Soldiers and werewolves, but not as bad as that sounds. The Ring: I remember this film to be pretty creepy? Signs: I also enjoyed this film. The effects were DUMB, though, right? Resident Evil: Another film I remember liking back when I saw it. Ghost Ship: Some cool deaths. Not bad if you want to waste a couple hours.
There weren’t a lot of GOOD movies to pick from this year. So, although I liked this movie, it basically won best movie by default. Here’s my 2005 review:
“Dreamcatcher: yet another stevie king story. god, i’m getting sick of him. it’s like half the horror section is comprised of his stories. the screenplay was written by guys who worked on return of the jedi, empire strikes back, raiders of the lost ark, butch cassidy and the sundance kid, and the princess bride. so you can imagine it’s gonna be a bit extravagant. this movie was actually pretty good. ever since first seeing the previews a few years ago, i thought it was gonna be dumb. but i was wrong. it was fun. it’s a survival horror/aliens attack film. if only it had will smith in it, i would give it 2 thumbs up.”
I’m kind of sad that this movie was actually released in the theater. There were sooo many other bad movies from this year, and they’ll all get ignored because of Uwe Boll’s shitty video game adaptation.
Here are a couple of movies that should have won worst film: Jeepers Creepers 2: Like the first, but somehow much worse.
House of 1000 Corpses: “The acting is shit, the plot is a mix of a played out idea, and a fucking stupid idea, and the characters are just plain annoying.”
Other considerations: Detour: “a small group of ravers are coming back from some big rave, when they decide to take a detour to find a large field of pot that is supposedly hidden out in the desert. then some tcm rejects attack them.” Bloodthirst: Legend of Chupacabras: Awful. But obviously home-made, so somewhat forgivable. Review HERE Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Remakes are always good… The Bone Snatcher: just your basic “monster chasing a couple people around in a secluded area” film. Read the review HERE. Final Destination 2: about as much fun as the first one. You know. Freddy Vs Jason: well… you’ve got Freddy… and you’ve got Jason. TOGETHER!! Beyond Re-Animator: Pretty fun movie. Good gore, etc. Review right HERE. Identity: From what I can remember, it’s fine, but I’ll never feel the need to re-watch it. Flesh for the Beast: “pretty much your basic soft core film with murder and gut eating.” Final Examination: “another shitty shit shit slasher film.”
Yes, it is a comedy. However, it’s also a great zombie film. It can stand along side Romero’s“Dead” family, playing the role of the crazy uncle. Or something.
I was going to pick Van Helsing, but at least that movie kind of worked within itself. The Forgotten never worked at any point. Jullianne Moore’s child is missing. Or did she ever have a child? What about McNulty? Did he have a child? WHO CARES.
Other movies that could have topped the lists, if they had tried a little harder: Saw: When this first came out, I was hoping for a delightful maniac serial killer film. Then I watched it. Yuck. Blood Gnome: Another direct to video, low budget trash bag. HERE’S a quick review. Curse of the Komodo: Giant komodo dragons and zombie like creatures. Yes, it SOUNDS good. It doesn’t feel good. Dark Harvest: Oh! A Killer Scarecrow!? How novel. Dr. Moreau’s House of Pain: People in shitty masks being shitty. Direct to video. Creature Unknown: “Like an x-files episode written by a 5 year old and stretched to fit into a feature length format.” Dawn of the Dead: This is one of the few horror movie remakes that turned out alright. Not as good as the original, obviously, but fine. The Village: I thought this was fun for what it was. Exorcist: The Beginning: It was fine. Not great. Awful CGI, from what I remember. You only need to watch it if you’re trying to watch the entire franchise.
All of these are from the month of November, which was a busy month over there. We found a bunch of great items that needed to be shared. This selection is just a very small fraction, so if you like looking at things, go to the blog.
ps- click here and here to see small collections from September and October.
or…
“Demos and Our Bright Reflections”
(following Beati Paoli’s songs from inception to adulthood)
||RABBLE ROUSE||
here’s the demo:
this is the first track from the first full length – “A Sense Of Urgency” (buy it here or on itunes). this album was initially started way back in december of ‘06, when we began slowly (very, very slowly) recording bits and pieces of songs that we had previously written or were currently working on. i don’t remember exactly when this song was introduced to the band, but i feel like it was within the first 1o or so songs we worked on.
the demo, like most of the early songs, was written and recorded by uciel on a digital 4-track. he then gave it to greg, who worked up some vocal arrangements. from there, it was laid out for ryan and myself to have our way with. as you can hear, the basic structure never changed, but many things were added, driving the song in a MUCH different direction than where it was originally headed.
the recording of this song started, like usual, with the drums. i can’t remember what mics we had at the time, so i won’t talk about mic placement or anything, however, i do remember that this is one of the tracks from a session where i refused to mic the toms. because of this, the drum mix obviously focused on overheads and room mics. the drums were played, multiple times, start to finish along to a predetermined click track. interestingly enough, after all the effort, there’s only one section of the song where we actually kept the real drums.
i’m assuming the next thing to be laid down would have the bass, as that’s how we did most of the album. we would get the bass and drums really tight and then layer everything on that foundation. guitars would have been next, and i don’t know the effects chains for any of these parts, as i didn’t play any of them (you’d have to ask ryan and cecil), but all said and done, we probably have 5 or 6 rhythm guitar tracks going on. greg then recorded the vocals on top of all this. we have two vocals going on the verse, paned to the left and right, with a handful of effects on each. again, most of this was done on the fly without a lot of planning, so i don’t have notes about what effects in what order. i will try and do better with my note taking in the future!
i know that the solo on the bridge was added later, as there was never originally a solo there. ryan came up with it one day while listening to an initial rough mix and we threw it in cuz it sounds rad. he also wrote and recorded a couple of cello parts for bridge. and speaking of the bridge… that’s the one place where we kept the original, live drum part. however, i ran it through the vocoder of a microkorg which i had programmed. i also manipulated it in real time to make it more interesting.
the rest of the drums were later programmed using multiple instances of fxpansion’s BFD. the beat is almost identical to the live version, just not actually live, and some of the verse drums were run through effects. i can’t remember the chain, but obviously there’s some delay and filters. i think i tried another vocoder as well.
at this point, we could have been done… but NO! ryan stole a giant old box fan from his parents and we sampled it, processed it, and layered it at the beginning and end of the tune, along with some other machinery and noise. we also used battery to put in some samples of marching and metal pipes during the chorus. you know… the usual.
There was once an internment/refugee camp in France that went by the name of Gurs. During WWII, after France joined up with the Nazis, Camp Gurs became home to non-French Jews and other “dangerous” people. Although this was a concentration camp, and obviously not a nice place to live, the people within Gurs were able to create for themselves a community that thrived on the arts. One prisoner, named Horst Rosenthal, created a couple of comic works before his death. One was titled “A Day in the Life of a Resident: Gurs Internment Camp, 1942″. I can’t find much about this one, but the other one, which a lot of people seem to love, is called “Mickey Mouse in the Gurs Internment Camp – Published without Walt Disney’s Permission.” Here are some panels:
My old pal A.K. introduced me to this little film called “Time Piece”. It is an experimental film that was created by Jim Henson back in 1965. It has some classic Henson elements, such as: dancing chickens, explosions, jazz drummers, colorful animated shapes, naked children, strippers, and chaos. It was nominated for an Oscar.
Dislocation in time, time signatures, time as a philosophical concept, and slavery to time are some of the themes touched upon in this nine-minute, experimental film, which was written, directed, and produced by Jim Henson-and starred Jim Henson! Screened for the first time at the Museum of Modern Art in May of 1965, Time Piece enjoyed an eighteen-month run at one Manhattan movie theater and was nominated for an Academy Award for outstanding short subject.
Well… HERE’S a cop-out! Instead of taking the time to write a real post, I’m just going to put up 10 images that were featured on Laconic Oration during the month of September…
The essay is called “On Popular Music”. Basically… it’s an essay written in 1941 about “popular” music compared to “serious” music. It starts of as just a sort of comparison of the two, but ends up as an analysis of the popular music industry and its consumers. Although I don’t agree with everything he states, I found the whole thing to be an interesting read.
scott
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